Regarding: CFS I, II, III
-Now these links are interesting because it isn't really about CFS. Many of you have probably seen (or at least heard of) ROSWELL (see "Nothing Better to do" page for pics & links). A girl that I'm communicating with wrote a story for the fanfic page and Liz and Max's tiredness sounds a lot like having CFS. The author told me that while she doesn't have CFS a few of her friends do and "it's very painful to watch. I guess I was basing Liz's fatigue on it,
unconsciously, so I'm so glad you pointed it out"
She did an excellent job of describing the kind of Tired-down-to-the bone feeling that many CFS suffers feel (espically since she doesn't have it herself).
Enjoy
"Breathe" CFS Part I by: WhirlingGirl "Fade" CFS Part II by: WhirlingGirl "Resurrection" CFS Part III by: WhirlingGirl "Touch" Part IV by: WhirlingGirl NC-17 For those of you who don't want to get wrapped up in the MAX/LIZ drama, here are a few tidbits from the story. Really excellent writing! If you like this, you'll love the story! "I have grown steadily weaker and more fragile, and my eyes have grown large and deep and dark. But mostly the changes are inside, now. Part of me just wants to let go sometimes, but something still keeps me here, in my body. Maybe it's hope. Maybe it's just a tenuous, primal addiction to the
mechanics of breathing. . .Without warning, though I knew it would come, the pain swells up inside me. It's different than I imagined it would be. . .The months have given me some distance, I think, from my grief. It has been tempered by acceptance. . .I gave up self-torture a long time ago. Hope and grief are a terrible combination. . .No, I will not cry. I angrily push the dream away. . .I'm so very tired. Finally, I just lie down on the ground. . .Then suddenly I'm crying hard for the first time in so long I can't remember that far back. . .After a while, I stop crying and just look out into the darkness. . .I think that there are worse places I could be, I suppose. Just lying here is so peaceful, in a way. . .I feel myself smile, and the heavens open up, and the ocean inside me rises to meet the tears falling from the sky."
"BREATHE"
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"I am too tired to fight this. I didn't think I would ever feel this way, but I really want to die. . .sometimes I feel like I'm just being pathetic. But I haven't been able to change what's happening. . .I feel so helpless and lost now, I just want it all to end. . .I tried to figure out a way out of it, too. But there is no way out. Except one.
Some idiot said it is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all. Yeah? Try it. . .But I've just grown more and more tired. I don't care anymore about what happens to me. I just want it to end soon. . .It was cold. Her body was so lost in her clothes and blankets. . .Her eyes were huge, and she didn't move at all. . .then I started to sense that something was wrong. She had been just too still, for too long. . .She wasn't just sitting there, looking at the stars. She wasn't looking at the stars at all. Her focus was entirely inwards. She was trying to stop breathing."
"RESURRECTION" |
