Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
Psychological Aspects

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WELL, WHAT IS CFS?
REALIZATION
CFS FUN FACTS
BANNER EXCHANGE
WATCHING
MY FIGHT WITH CFS
To You NORMALS
SOMETIMES THEY LISTEN
Psychological Aspects
DAILY LOG
FUNNY THOUGHTS ON CFS
A DAY IN MY LIFE
MY LIFE
UNFAIR
I'M TRYING!!
THANKSGIVING
Normal. . .Almost
Growing Up Is Hard Enough
SIMPLE TASKS
I'M SCARED
BELIEVE ME
COMFORTABLE
SWEET 16
NOT EXACTLY EVEN
CFS POETRY
MY FAVORITE CFS SITES and MY WEBRINGS
OK, DONE NOW
SITES I LIKE
NOTHING BETTER TO DO
POEMS I LIKE
QUOTES
CONTACT ME (adoptables cont.)

One of the hardest parts of CFS is the psycholigical problems. What's very important to understand is: Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is NOT caused by psycholigical problems! However, depression, guilt, anger and other psychological problems are caused by CFS

THIS IS ME!!

I'm 16. Great age, the teenage moodiness is passing, but that never really got to me anyway. All my friends are getting their drivers license.
But not me. I couldn't study for the test and memorize all that I need to with the brain fogginess. My friends don't understand, why can't you get your license? As soon as I turn 16, or when I did turn 16 I was at the DMV faster than you can say 'happy birthday.' "NO special reason" I say, biting back anger. "I will one of these days."
The truth is I'm afraid I would have a *white out* behind the wheel. ( A white out is when you feel very dizzy and almost loose consciousness) And I need to drive about 100 hours. I could probably do 45 minutes on a good day and those aren't often. And if I did drive for the 45 minutes, I probably couldn't get out of bed the next day.
Most of my family live in California. And I Love them so much, they're wonderful. But I couldn't go, even if I got the money together (which is hard, because I can't get a job- not even baby-sitting). Sometimes they come and visit me, but I feel like it's a waste. They're so wonderful, wanting so much for me to be able to come out and play, and I can't. Or I can, but then to make up for their doubts, I'll feign sickness and miss out on something fun. I'd rather do that then have them go home not believing me, or worse, let me down when I need them.
I have the most wonderful friends, and I never see them. A sleep-over is SO out of the question. I went to my friends sleep-over birthday party once. I was hyper, but didn't spend the night. "Why couldn't you spend the night?" She later asked me "You looked fine all night!"
She didn't know I went home and cried myself to sleep I hurt so bad, and spent the next day in bed. "Yea," I replied, what could I say? Let her believe I was a bad friend, I didn't want to spoil her memory of the party.
Ever since we moved to Florida my dad has wanted us to buy a boat, but we all had to learn how to sail first. That never happened. There's the fear of a white-out and what would happen if the boat capsized and I was too tired to swim back?
When we moved here, I got accepted into a special Drama school, from there maybe I could fulfill my dream of becoming a famous actress. But I had to drop out. The long bus ride took to much out of my. My grades were slipping in my academic classes, and I was too tired to memorize lines, rehearse scenes and practice miming.
This guy I'm friends with called me before he went to a statewide graduation party at Disney World and he sent me his beautiful invite to his graduation ceremony and a senior class picture with him dressed beautifully in a suit. And it occurred to me, that I'm never going to graduate like that. I'll probably get my GED because I'm in home-schooling, and usually to sick to get any work done.
That's my life. My wonderful brain and healthy body are wasted with no exercise and only bad TV all day. It's not what I planned.
And there are so many nights I can't sleep because I hurt so bad. I feel like there is a bomb exploding in my head and when I cry it only gets worse. I'm always hot and uncomfortable. Little things like going on walks or eating with silverware makes my joints sore and I'll get so upset because none of my friends have to soak their hands and and put a wash-cloth on their head to make the pain dull.
And there are SO MANY more people like me, some who never get well.
Hopefully now, you're a little more aware to what living with CFS is like

After hearing me complain about my life you probably won't doubt the validity of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. But many people do, including some of my family and friends. So Bek's letter is so important in raising awareness and showing "normals" that there ARE people that suffer.
Anne Frank wrote the most famous diary in history, it rings true to teens all over the world, but I think espically to people with long term illnesses, because we too, don't get to live the life that we should. Others with long term illnesses don't leave the house for years. And although it isn't the same there is still the trapped feeling and the longing to be free.
Here's a passage from her diary, she says so beautifully what most CFS sufferers are silently screaming.
"When someone comes in from outside with the wind in their clothes and the cold on their faces then I could bury my head in the blankets to stop myself from thinking: "when will we be granted the privilege of smelling fresh air?" And because I must not bury my head in the blankets, but the reverse the thoughts come, not once, but, oh, countless times. Believe me, if you could have been shut up for a year and a half, it cna get too much for you some days. In spite of all justice and thankfullness, you can't crush your feelings. Cycling, dancing, whisteling, looking out into the world feeling young, to know that I'm free- that's what I long for; still I mustn't show it. Where would self pity lead us? I sometimes ask myself "would anyone, Jew or non-Jew understand this about me, that I am simply a young girl in need of some rolicking fun?" I don't know, and I couldn't talk about it to anyone, because I know I should cry. Crying can bring such relief!"